someTHING for now

Back From Hibernation

2006-12-27T02:14:00.000-06:00

I sometimes wonder and then can’t stop wondering, my mind taking complete control, locking out all other functions. That’s really all I do at times, staring blankly into the middle of this lustrous illustration interpreted from my two very own eyes. Wondering about me, what I’m doing, what I’m not, the decisions I’m making, the potential progress that I’m envisioning. I’m using the holidays as an excuse, a lie, a cover up, a plan to justify my absence from productivity. A break, just a small one, but I’m sitting on my ass and getting restless, I get these ants in the pants, slowly becoming impatient and quiet. “I’m feeling a new deck of cards.” eVo. I’m feeling, and almost sad that I’m not reaching hard or long enough. I listen for inspiration searching for the signs and realizing that coincidence can make or break you and thinking too much is just a dagger in an already broken heart. Not implying, but feeling a taste for reasons unknown to me. I need to move, run, bike, fly, breath fresh, sweat the dirt out my veins. I can’t stop. So many places to go, people to meat, conversations to be conversed sights to see. Free spirit.

Citizen Cope… since I’m the adjective king lets attempt to describe what my ears hear…

Wonder and amazement, intrigued, still, quite with loud words and relaxing beats, almost memorizing, trance but not trippy, mellow, real nice, real not fake, truth, innocent yet intelligent, human. Truthfully, his music is fucking amazing. It has that umphhhh separating from the rest.

Sorry for the lack of words recently, but for those who still have faith, I highly appreciate… primo

4x5

2006-09-13T02:21:00.000-05:00

NO matter how complicated things become, I have always found my solstice within Photography. It's where I discover most of my success.

Delays

2006-09-12T02:39:00.000-05:00

Plagued with a feeling of overwhelming disparity.

School starts, and all of a sudden time accelerates to a speed that I’m not prepared for. Trying to accomplish what I want, speak my mind, fulfill goals, reach deadlines, create, ride, generate income, and all that shit I’ve put on my to do list has started to escalate.

Delays in processing, having errors in 4 by 5, running out of time for gestural abstraction questions, dulling my head with mundane Photoshop exercises that aren’t really putting my brain in great mental shape.

Slacking on entries, lacking with someTHING for now, concentrating on then, thinking about what can, will and should be.

distracted temporarily for hopefully a small amount of time.
Waiting for studio experience, while still attempting to retain a little bit of those sane characteristics that keep me calm.

At least I ride a bike and don’t have to deal with this shit: seeing way to much red.

Acts of violence

2006-09-08T00:44:00.000-05:00

Politics, our government, war, American involvement in foreign affairs… In the more recent past, all these topics have been somewhat intimidating for me and the discussions I’ve had about them were relatively limited, mostly for a lack of knowledge. But, as time progressed and my mind matured, the knowledge I’ve filtered and categorized in my head has increased allowing me to become more comfortable in my opinions and thoughts and more confident in my vocalizations about them.

First, I am extremely uncomfortable living under a regime that has consistently proven that the general welfare or their people lie at the bottom of a barrel that currently points in the direction of the Middle Eastern civilian population. I am dumbfounded that I live in a contradictory nation who’s government has initiated a “War on Terror” to prevent terrorist attacks on its soil by instituting and organizing a military to commit violent crimes in poverty stricken countries. It just doesn’t make sense: prevent attacks by attacking your enemy. I seriously doubt that the activation of our bombs, bullets and guns is going to generate peace.

While I listen to Jimmy guitar riff the National Anthem to shreds, this quote very appropriately comes to mind:

“Me and you must not pull on the ends of a rope which you have tied the knots of war, because the war that the two of us pull, the tighter the knot will be tied, and then it will be necessary to cut that knot and what that will mean is not for me to explain to you. I have participated in two wars and know that war ends when it has rolled through cities and villages everywhere so that death and destruction reign. If people do not display wisdom, they will clash like blind moles, and then mutual annihilation will commence.” Khrushchev (Leader of the Soviet Union 1953-1964) addressing the US during the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Robert McNamara's 10 Lessons

1.The human race will not eliminate war in this century, but we can reduce the brutality of war--the level of killing--by adhering to the principles of a "Just War", in particular to the principle of "proportionality".

2. The indefinite combination of human fallibility and nuclear weapons will lead to the destruction of nations.

3. We are the most powerful nation in the world--economically, politically and militarily--and we are likely to remain so for decades ahead. But we are not omniscient.

4. Moral principles are often ambiguous guides to foreign policy and defense policy, but surely we can agree that we should establish as a major goal of U.S. foreign policy and, indeed, of foreign policy across the globe: the avoidance in this century of the carnage--160 million dead--caused by conflict in the 20th century.

5. We, the richest nation in the world, have failed in our responsibility to our own poor and to the disadvantaged across the world to help them advance their welfare in the most fundamental terms of nutrition, literacy, health, and employment.

6. Corporate executives must recognize there is no contradiction between a soft heart and a hard head. Of course, they have responsibilities to their employees, their customers and to society as a whole.

7. President Kennedy believed a primary responsibility of a president--indeed "the" primary responsibility of a president--is to keep the nation out of war, if at all possible.

8. War is a blunt instrument by which to settle disputes between or within nations, and economic sanctions are rarely effective. Therefore, we should build a system of jurisprudence based on the International Court--that the U.S. has refused to support--which would hold individuals responsible for crimes against humanity.

9. If we are to deal effectively with terrorists across the globe, we must develop a sense of empathy--I don't mean "sympathy" but rather "understanding" to counter their attacks on us and the Western World.

10. One of the greatest dangers we face today is the risk of mass destruction as a result of the breakdown of the Non-Proliferation Regime. We--the U.S. are contributing to that breakdown.

The United States must be careful with their actions and since the invasion of Iraq, I have not been proud to be an American.

social CHANGE

2006-08-28T23:38:00.000-05:00

I have concluded that contemporary art has become more about a person’s deep depth of ideas and their respective ability to thoroughly hide underlying meaning than to expose the truth of the world and society that we live in. Sometimes I feel that the deeper and more confusing it is, the more poplarity it gains, as if it were only to be apprectiated by intellectuals or those with formal art educations. For some, this is fine, and that’s alright. Everyone has their own ideas and thoughts and methods of fulfilling their creative desires and I am by no means entitled to bash upon their imaginative endeavors. Furthermore, I’m not trying to talk shit about the art community and the artwork that is being produced, but I have come to believe that my mind resides in a different territory and my creativity follows a completely different path.

I don’t like fads, I don’t like pop culture, and those that get caught up in it will suddenly switch with the click of the TV remote and completely lose any ability to fully appreciate the truth in themselves. For that very reason, I don’t like making art that falls under this contemporary, modern, fashionable and trendy ideal. Art should not be beautiful because it appeals to the popularity of the masses or because it is in style. Sometimes I hate that it is.

Social change is what I find to be most beautiful; art with a genuinely sincere purpose to expose malice in the world.

If you feel me, check these links out...

The Snowsuit Effort
Oveous Maximus
you ARE beautiful
REthink (I have this book if anyone is interested in browsing through it)
Christpher Anderson
Born INTO Brothels
Jacob Riis

escape

2006-08-23T21:21:00.000-05:00

Biking, trekking, sweating, with my heart thumping and heavily pulsing to my rhythmic breaths.

Debris piles ahead like abandoned thrones of ancient stones neglected by all except the progress of time. Rusted by the pound of weather; beautifully stagnant and pristine; untouched except by my two eyes.

I look, gaze, and see a never ending maze of paths, shrubs, wooden clubs, branches, limbs, rusted metal oxidized to the bone, pieces to puzzles of non existent troubles cause that what I’m feeling… Free that is.

Freedom explores the forgotten pieces of untracked floors and unkempt doors of abandoned buildings, tumbling, and crumbling brick falling onto cracked concrete, erupting from below.

Desolate, dirty, eerie; my solitude existence soiled by no ones presence. Crouching down, seeing, exploring, and noticing the unnoticed. My reflexes sensing and reacting to every sound thud and pound.

Support beams no longer supporting, railroad ties no longer tying, dead trees and plants no longer crying for life, faded graffiti seen by no one but the sun’s light. Here I am, little ole me, testing the test of time, silently and stilly disrupting what I can't call mine.

One sticky footprint in wet mud, one more distant car produced thud, one more rusted rod, and one more heart throb of satisfaction. Back to point one, the sun setting, me feeling none less than the best, hop on my bike, head west… spiritualized, invigorated, thrilled.

friday isTHE day

2006-08-20T10:35:00.000-05:00

My ride home last night, despite the rain, was quite invigorating. A slow mellow refreshing fall almost entirely eliminated the humidity that had been clogging my pores all morning and afternoon. This thickness of added drag vanished with my pedal produced wind while the combination of it being Friday, the lake to my right and the thoughts of a relaxing night induced nothing but smiles and satisfaction. Pure thoughts of pleasure with a wide ass grin for people passing by who want an accurate measure of my present gain while having no thoughts of the plagued physical pain I have recently encountered.

So, beer a shower and pizza magically do the trick and The Beatles giving me that needed kick of rhythm to activate my rate to finish my ridiculously full plate of chorizo and onion pie from the best stuffed pizza in the Chi, Stefano’s. The White Sox lose and I turn to the monitor to ignite a fuse seeking an interesting infestation of art, hoping to take my mind off the loss, my nose out of my nasty ass farts and discover an update from the boss of Photoshop and creation in general. Brian Barnhart has thankfully added some of his finest work to the site, giving, showing and expressing his optimum might. So I peer and smile and laugh at Apple River’s ridiculous drunken bash, reminiscing about last weekend’s friendly wrath of fun.

It took a mental toll, drinking to night’s end, reaching for the tallest, highest, and hardest to reach tops of the totem pole. Pushing and stretching our stomachs and heads, sort of wishing that we had more comfortable beds and a flush toilet with no splash back. But in the end, it’s all about the experience and I can’t complain because in the future I would definitely do it all over again.

But, the adds are splendid and ripe cause they are the type of images that can make heads turn. Slightly manipulated, inducing second glances and forcing people to squint as if they needed glasses. Which is the ultimate goal, making something a little more inviting than the next or last; to leave an everlasting impression on whomever is taking time to pass, giving them incentives to make a return trip.

I’m out and hopefully I will see you in the future.

primo

for starters

2006-08-19T15:27:00.000-05:00

I had this idea for some time, not necessarily to make a blog, but to create an outlet for the masses to discover. MySpace just wasn’t doing it for me. I will continue to update, modify, use, and communicate through it, but the majority of my web-based happenings will be conducted here for the time being. I'm not wholly concerned about what direction this little experiment follows, but for starters, I think my first naive goals are to assemble a spot where I can vent, ramble, post pics, converse, meet and expose to the world whatever I see fitting. I need to write, document, collaborate, keep in touch, create relationships, exercise my mind, minimize fear, maximize love, practice typing, explore possibilities and all that type of shit to stay sane in this technology based society we live in. So here it is.....

The plan is to post some words about my day, my life, my experiences, discoveries, emotions and assist them with links that represent those respective thoughts in the best way I think possible. As we all know, there is a lot of substance on the web, and not only is appreciating it absolutely essential today, but by using it to help describe ideas inevitably make things a little clearer, slightly more visual and much easier to comprehend. The only problem is creating a method that cohesively brings these themes together. A solution that I believe to be great start is this blog.